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Personal Stories

These stories are real life experiences from people in Ireland. Some of the detalis are not pleasant. They have been edited only to preserve anonymity and confidentiality.

Tom's Story (Machines and Bookies)

I first started gambling at around twelve or thirteen putting whatever money I had into slot machines. While other children kept their money for sweets or even cigarettes my money was going to arcades. It was not a big deal at the time – it was just a few pence. What I didn’t notice was that it was all my money. At around fifteen or sixteen, I was starting to go into the bookies. Nothing too major, although there were many Saturday afternoons that I lost the money that I would have worked for that day in a part time job. Up to the age of eighteen that was the way it was. I did not cause any great damage to anyone but I had robbed some money and did not have much success with my teenage life.

At eighteen I left home and that’s when the trouble really started. It didn’t even start off slowly – it seemed so natural to be going to arcades and bookies. For three or four years it was continuous -most weeks losing all my wages or dole. Every single week for years I would promise myself that this week I would not loose all my wages. I tried so hard in my head. I tried to fight it but to no avail – continuously loosing. And when I did win it just meant that I would loose it the next day or the day after. For years I went hungry had no clean clothes and lived in horrible dirty accommodation. I even had to sleep rough for a short while. Then one night after robbing money from a family member I attempted suicide. I thought about it often but this night I went through with it. I lived to tell the tale and thought that I would never gamble again. The wounds were hardly healed when I was back at the machines.

Life took different turns after that and I got a good job with good money. In the midst of all that I met a good woman. We fell in love and got married. I managed to hide from her the extent of the problem, but I couldn’t hide it for long. The marriage lasted a short time and she left never to return. I continued to gamble for many years. I could not walk by a bookies or an arcade for a long time. After a while I seemed to be getting some control on my gambling or so I thought – I might not gamble for four or five weeks at a time. And then I would think that I would go back and have just one or two bets. I always went back with that belief that I would just stay for twenty minutes and then go. And nearly always I left couple of hours later – broke.

I really tried so hard on my own to stop, I knew it was destroying me but I could just not stop on my own. Then one day some years ago after loosing a lot in that week I decided to try “Gamblers Anonymous”. I had been to meetings before for a short period but I did not take it very seriously. This time was different. I had had enough and just wanted out. I wanted a peaceful life with some contentment and happiness. I so much wanted to get away from the madness that years of gambling had brought to me. When I got to the first meeting, I met people that were the same as me, only they were free from gambling.

They understood where I was coming from because they all had been there. They knew the suffering I was going through. They were friendly and they cared about me, a complete stranger to them. I put my hand out for help and I was given it. Nobody asked me to do anything except to come back to another meeting as soon as I could. I did that and I have been free from gambling ever since.

Today my life has turned around so much. I rarely think about gambling. I have the peace and happiness that I craved. I have a life that I want. I still have to deal with the ups and downs of life, like anybody else, but today I do it free from a bet.

One day at a time - I have got not just a great life but a great life free from gambling.

This will work for anyone who wants it to work.